Friday, July 16, 2010

One Step Closer

Completed the home visit portion of our home study today...finally ready to wait! I find this preparation to be ridiculous this time around. I'm not discounting the need to check out potential families and is quite necessary to be sure that the agencies are dealing with couples/families that are of sound mind and "stable." I just think there should be some kind of clause that lets you opt out of portions of the process if you've already done this before (especially recently, Jenny & Dave). I realize there are cases (though few and far between yet, highly publicised) that warrant the repetitive nature of this process. Though I find it ridiculous, my house was still FAR cleaner today at 10:30 a.m. than it ever actually is, even when we're having company! I'm laughing because we even knew what to expect this time around and we still did the EXTREME cleaning. Poor Jason was so worried about making sure we had two smoke detectors...This was a comment made by the woman who did our first home study. Jason wanted to rectify the situation (three years later) so he went to get a second detector and battery for the one we already had. I say had because, when he went to replace the battery, he discovered that the original smoke detector did not work! Back to Menards he went! We now have two working smoke detectors and the social worker didn't even ask if we had one...poor buddy! So, note to all you have at least one smoke detector and does it work?

I think we passed the test...She asked a lot of questions about Jayce. That must be the biggest update of our home study. He truly has brought so much joy to our lives and we were thrilled to share with the social worker that Jayce has already named his baby sister (he insists it will be a girl) FooFoo. I tried to tell him last night about the names we have picked for a baby. I showed him how to spell the girl's name we have chosen (assuming our b-mom doesn't have something else in mind) and he told me that it was wrong and asked me how to spell FooFoo...of course, I showed him! Some things are just not worth fighting over. I guess she'll always be FooFoo to him. ...assuming it is a she.

The social worker told us that it shouldn't take long for her to complete our home study since she has most everything caught up. We still have to go have our physicals...yes we have to get a note from our doctor saying we are healthy enough to add another baby to our family...he couldn't see us until the 27th so we'll at least have to wait until then to become "active." The average placement with our agency is about 3 to 6 months. So, we wait...

Hopefully someone will choose us. This brings me to another topic I will have to blog about later...being chosen. For now, I will say this. It saddens me that any woman/family comes to a place where they feel unable to care for or provide what their child needs. I cannot understand the heartache they must feel or the pain/anguish/sadness this decision brings into their life. We can only offer a safe home full of love for their child. I imagine that is only partly comforting, but I pray that our b-parents can know that their child will be shown that is ok to love their first family. We hold a very high amount of respect for Jayce's tummy mommy and her decision for Jayce. We love her beyond what we could have imagined in the beginning and we know Jayce loves her. Jason asked him the other night about A. Jayce said, "Yeah...I know who A is. She loves me!"



Anonymous said...

I am praying for your family and hope that you have a speedy process. The Lord will work everything out for you.

Abbey, Warren and Baxter said...

We are so excited that you are "one step closer" and can't wait to meet the new addition to your family! Praying for God to make things happen quickly!

Anonymous said...

I am encouraged by your blog tremendously. I was blessed enough to have biological children, and don't get me wrong, my girls are my life, beautiful blessings that I don't deserve. But I have also always longed for a son to complete our family....i'm sure you've felt that same feeling...that someone is just...missing? I even have dreams about him. Well I CHOSE to have a tubal/ablation due to medical problems and complications with 2 of 3 of my pregnancies. I felt that God was telling me my body had had enough and taking on another pregnancy would put the unborn baby and me at risk and I just couldnt do that to my girls. Anyway, we've talked about adoption before but figured since we have children, no one would be interested in adopting to us. Also, since I am a Passion consultant (for an undecided length of time) we also determined that could work against us tremendously. I was hoping you could share some insight into exactly what the agencies look for in a potential stability, of course, but are we talking a certain salary or what do they use to judge that? Do they frown upon families with biological children or that have preference in gender? Obviously I would love a little girl with all my heart (After all, I feel like a pro now!haha!) but I know there is a little boy somewhere that wouldn't mind having older sisters and being the only "little" man in the house! Do they care if I stay home...or worse do they judge my Passion business? I am sure many people do....but I have always said I will only do this as long as God wants/allows me to. Every time I question my business or think maybe it's the wrong path or sends the wrong message...I get a great encouragement, or new recruit, or something to keep me in it? Maybe it's a test...I'm not sure yet...but I know I will figure it out one way or another with His help. Anyway...I digress....I would love to have any info on the agency you use. We're not financially ready for something like adoption yet, but in the future I would really like to seriously look into it. Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

I am tremendously encouraged by your blog. As you know, I have 3 biological daughters. But, due to medical issues, and complications with 2 of 3 pregnancies, I chose to undergo tubal/endometrial ablation. I just couldn't justify putting an unborn baby at risk or myself, I couldn't do that to my girls. Anyway, Will and I have talked about adoption before as I have always longed for a son to complete our family. I just feel like someone is....missing? I even have dreams about a baby boy? Maybe just wishful thinking? I was hoping you could tell me exacly what kind of things "qualify" you for adoption. I know the agencies look for financial stability, but are they looking for a particular do they judge that? Also I worry that my Passion biz would work against me. I have always questioned this path, but seems like everytime I think, ok I'm done...I get some kind of new recruit, or new booking, or some new encouragment that keeps me in it? Maybe it's just a test...I'm not sure but I know I will figure it out with His guidance. But, even so, would they frown on my being a SAHM? I mean, now we're only bringing in one income and have children already. Do they "frown" upon families that already have children, or that have a preference in gender? I know I could love another little girl, but I really feel like a "little man" is out there who wouldn't mind being the only son...and in fact would love all that attention! haha!
So if you could shed some light on what kinds of things agencies look for in families, what things they ask in your home study,etc...might just give us a little more insight into deciding if this is the option we've been looking for. Thanks again for sharing!