well...

It is late...I'm working on a post regarding today's adoption home study, but I want to be sure I say what needs to be said and I'm really tired. So, I'm sitting on it for now. We are excited about our next adoption and I look forward to sharing the journey with you...assuming anyone is reading. I will say this for now...the class was informative (even for someone who has already been through the process before) and interesting. We were able to share our first experience, meet up with some great friends, and make a couple of new ones. Exciting days ahead! I'll post more tomorrow...I gotta sleep!

Home Study Class

We attended our home study class on July 9. This is a step in the process that we did not experience when we adopted Jayce. I was assuming that it would be a rather boring day covering everything we've already been through and I really just wanted to get it over with. While we did hear a lot of things we already knew or had experienced, I found this class to be interesting and needed. We could have really used this last time. In this class, the agency tries to prepare you for every aspect of your looming adoption. They tell you what to expect...anyone who has ever parented (in any way) knows that you cannot depend on what you expect to be what actually happens...regarding almost every aspect of adoption.

Our class was made up of eight families (including us). Three of us had previously adopted, two families had biological children and the rest were/are preparing to be first time parents. What an incredible experience to actually be able to share our experience (in pieces) to people who were interested because it was applicable and offered hope...or assurance that what they were/are feeling is ok, real, valid, shared, and understood. I'm finding, as we share with those who are "in the process," I have a huge need to help adoptive families feel validated. Let me just say this and see how it pans out...

NOTE: I am speaking on behalf of myself here and assuming that what I'm about to say could be said by quite a few adoptive families, but certainly not ALL adoptive families...It is tiring, annoying, sometimes hurtful to hear people say things like:

...you will have the baby you are meant to raise

...this will happen in God's time

...at least you don't have to be pregnant and all that goes along with that

...you know, when you complete this, you're gonna get pregnant

...so, you can't have your own children?

In response to these things, I would say:

...You are 100% right, but you don't have to remind me

...You are 100% right, but every once in a while I wish He'd hurry up...and you don't have to remind me

...You are 100% right, but every once in a while I wonder what it would be like -- I wish that you would cherish every minute that you are...and you don't have to remind me

...So far, you are 100% wrong and I don't really care if I ever have a biological child

...My son is my own!

Please understand that the comments above are things I've thought and never really said aloud, except to my closest friends, but I think they are important for people to understand. While most people are trying to be helpful when they say things like this, the biggest help you can give is to listen and pray.

Sorry...I'm supposed to be writing about the class...sidetracked much? So, the class was informative. We discussed the rights of birthmoms, birthdads, and adoptive parents. We discussed what to expect at the hospital and making a hospital plan with our birthmoms. We talked a lot about legal risk. We also talked a lot about open adoption. My favorite thing to talk about when I talk about adoption is the way our view of open adoption changed over the course of our experience. Most couples are really scared to consider open adoption (fyi...there are many kinds of open adoption, but I'll talk about that some other day). We wanted no part of it when we started our journey, but we can't imagine it any other way now. We feel that it is a privilege to be able to put our son in contact with his birthmom any time he asks...assuming she's willing and able to get together. We are glad to know about her and her interests and abilities. We see her in him a lot and we feel great that we can recognize that and help Jayce identify with her in some way. We value her as a person...we love her as a part of our family...we respect her for her selfless decision...we are grateful to her for helping us create our family as it is today. The adoption process has taken us on a journey that we never expected and we have learned how to love far beyond what we ever thought possible. I hope we communicated that to the waiting first time families...

Potty Training Success

Last night my son finally pooed on the potty!!!!!! I feel like he's been potty training since he was two, but he finally did it!!!!!! We were beyond excited. He told me he had to go and I took him there and he actually went! Then, we had to show Daddy! We had promised Little Man that we would buy the Toy Story movies for him when he learned to poo on the potty. So, Jason asked him if he remembered what we had promised him and he said, "TOY STORY! Can we go get it now?" Of course, we hopped in the car and went to WalMart to buy the movies. When we got home we had to watch one and he took them both to Nanny's house today. I hope this wasn't a fluke thing and that this is actually progress, but I'm trying to figure out what the catalyst was in his final decision to use the potty for pooing... I'm sure it wasn't the promise of Toy Story because there would have been quicker results. I'm starting to think that it had something to do with the fact that we finally started punishing him when he went in his skivvies. I read somewhere once that littles ones have to learn that the behavior is wrong before they will change it. They find it very normal to potty in their diapers because they have known nothing else...no other option. Therefore, they have to be taught that their prior behavior isn't right and then decide to do something about it. As I am typing this, I am being reminded that isn't much different than adult behavior. Do you think God allows consequences of our wrong behavior to be evident in our lives so that we will make a decision to change those behaviors? We love our children. Because of that love, we have to allow consequences and enforce discipline so that they will make right choices. We don't like it and it sometimes hurts us, but it is our responsibility to encourage change for the better in our children. God feels that way about us, too. We are His children and He longs for us to pay attention to the consequences of our decisions so that we will make right choices. He wants us to be aware that there are other options than what we have always known. Are there consequences you are currently facing that are causing you to consider a change for the better? I'm sure I have some behaviors that need changing...God, help me to pay attention...and take action...

I'M BACK...

AND I'M GONNA TRY MY HAND AT THIS WRITING THING. I've got a lot going on in my head and heart these days and I'm wondering if writing will help take the edge off. Can't say that there will be any theme to my writing, but I'm sure it will have to do with life...God, my family, adoption, ministry...There are days that I am torn in so many different directions that I just have to throw up my hands and guess where to start. I'm sure a lot of you feel that way. This blogging may add to the directions in which I am pulled, but I think it could be theraputic. I've been considering, for quite a while, writing a book, but that task seems very daunting and, when I set deadlines and/or goals, I tend to procrastinate. Plus, I often wonder if I really have anything worth sharing in a book. So...I'm just gonna blog and see what happens. Maybe I'll eventually come up with some material worth publishing. Maybe someone will draw some insight from my ramblings. Maybe someone will become interested in adoption. Maybe people will read one post and never another. Or maybe...(this is my hope) someone will encounter a REAL person following after God, gracefully failing at times and allowing Him to pick me back up, dust me off and set my feet back in the right direction. ...Yep, this is definitely already theraputic.

These are our latest family pictures. The appointment was eventful. Jayce had about a 20 minute nap before we got there and lunch was only an option after we were done. The photographer was a little worried that she was going to upset little man so we had to do most of the positioning ourselves. Thankfully you can't tell any of that by looking at the pictures! He's a trooper and was very willing to say cheese...as long as we kept promising him things and completely abandoned all discipline! Oh...what...a...day! Anyway...please enjoy and know that we are thinking of each of you during this holiday season. Hope your Thanksgiving was great!

Our Latest Photo Shoot

Fall Fun

This was quite a big slide for a little guy! This picture captures Jayce's love of fun, new things. It is a joy and incredible blessing to watch him learn and grow.

Jayce, Camden, and Carsen had a lot of fun on the merry-go-round.



We took our little turtle to the Trunk-or-Treat at our church.

This is one of those pictures he is going to try to keep us from sharing when he's older!

Pumpkin Works has corn mazes and a little hay maze for the kiddos. This was a tunnel that Jayce was enjoying crawling through.

He went through all the pumpkins trying to sit them all stems up. He tried really hard to move pumpkins that were nearly bigger than him.

Having fun at the park when we went to visit Jenny and Dave.

We hiked a trail at Shades State Park with the teens on our camping trip. The weather was beautiful!

This was right after we awoke to Jayce standing at the side of the air mattress in the tent. He did great on his first camping trip. He tried to help chop wood for the fire and had a great time hunting for the moon with mommy while daddy lead the teens in Bible study. It was a great time to be reminded of our blessings and God's creativity.